To See Red
by Blatburst
Summary: Caecum colorum is a condition wherein the patient only sees monochrome but the color red. The victims of this rare condition would do anything to see color-even going to extremes just to see the only color they could see-red. Such as the case of Eren Jaeger who tried to overcome the severe effects of this condition.
1. Chapter 1

**Enjoy!**

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"..aeger"

I hear it. _Screams. Pleas._ I can see my own reflection-crimson. _Red. Scarlet._ Why did I do this? _I have to._ What do I have to do to stop it? _I can't._ When did this go wrong? _Winter..._

"...aeger!"

It's getting louder. It's the sound of police sirens. My breath is getting uneven. _I have to go or else I'll..._

"Mr. Jaeger!"

My gasps filled the room. Monochrome is what I saw. An organized desk, books lined up meticulously in a shelf, and papers piled up in that desk. I can also hear the rapid scribbles of pen on paper. An office... but what caught my attention is the man sitting right in front of me-his pen red. Ah, now I remember-I'm at one of his sessions. This man in front of me is my psychiatrist, Dr. Ackerman. _Perfect, Just perfect._

"Mr. Jaeger, are you with me now? You look quite pale." Caring as always-Dr. Ackerman-even after his client did something unforgivable.

"I'm fine, Dr. Ackerman. Just-Just get on with the session." I was waiting on how he's going to get into the good part. "Mr. Jaeger, hmm, how do i say this?" Quit pondering. "Why did you... why did you do it?"

I feigned a smile and said, "Did _what_ , Dr. Ackerman?"

 _"Why did you kill that man?"_

His face scrunched up as he said those words-words that he may still find unbelievable until now. Words that would never leave his mouth when I was right in front of him. I felt sorry for him. Hah! Imagine: A murderer having remorse for his psychiatrist.

But then again...

"Eren, please tell me." He's my best friend. The only one in fact.

So, I muster all of courage to say,"...So be it, I'll tell you my story."

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When I was five, I was diagnosed of having _caecum colorum_ -a condition wherein the patient only sees monochrome but the color red. As of today, there is still no known cure. Reports say that most victims of _caecum colorum_ had either gone mad or ended their life. The doctors say that the patients would do anything to see color-anything even going to extremes just to see the only color they could see-red.

My parents were shocked of my findings. Fearing for my future, they hired a personal doctor that took care of me. A doctor whose son would later become my psychiatrist and best friend. What my parents did to try and get rid of my disease-I could never thank them enough. My entire parents' efforts and the doctor's efforts went swimmingly but not everything stays the same way.

Time stood still for me until my 13th birthday.

"Eren, it's time for your daily sessions with Dr. Ackerman!" My mother would call me from downstairs. She was always beaming-my mother. She never considered her own son as an outcast even after finding out that I had some weird the-color-you-could-only-see-is-red thing.

"I'm coming, Mom!" As I recall, I came running down the stairs. My mother was always waiting at the foot of it tying her hair in a loose ponytail and wearing her favorite red apron. "Mom," I say as I hug her, "are you going to be late again today?"

"I'm afraid so, _sevgilim_." Mother always picked me up late because her job demands it but I wouldn't mind it because then Dr. Ackerman's son and I could play all afternoon.

My mother started to retrieve the keys of her car in the bowl next to the door and walked towards our driveway. Our porch was filled with 'pink' carnations and 'violet' forget-me-nots. It makes me sad that I could never see what 'pink' and 'violet' would look like. I asked my mom about these colors and she replied with, _''Pink' is a lighter shade of red while 'violet' is a darker shade of red.'_ Maybe all the colors look like red but shades lighter or shades darker? _Who knows?_

My mother and I got in our car and started it. I can hear the rough purr of our car as she drove away in our driveway, tires screeching as it did so.

"Oh, and Eren?" My mother glanced at me with delight in her eyes-trying to keep her eyes on the road.

"Yeah, mom?"

"Your Dad's coming home on your birthday!" I felt a surge of happiness run across my body. My Dad-he's finally coming home from Berlin! You see, in this small town of Shiganshina my dad's profession-a detective-didn't really pay well. He needed the money to support my family and my medication. There weren't any crimes in this small town for a detective to solve. So, when Dr. Ackerman told my dad about a job as a detective in Berlin, he immediately took it.

 _'It's perfect.'_ My dad once said _. 'The capital is only a few days away from Shiganshina,'_ he said _. 'I wouldn't have to worry about not seeing my family for a long time-I could always drop-by!'_

My dad never failed to make me smile. I looked at my mom, my smile reaching to my eyes as I am ecstatic of having him home, and said," I'm so glad to have him back. Now, we'll be complete!"

"That's good to hear." _'It is.._.' I thought as she drove in front of the Ackerman's home.

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 **Just a heads up, Eren's dad is a detective in this one not a doctor**

 ** _sevgilim_ \- sweetheart**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so sorry. I deserve to be in the trash for being this late. Anyways, here is the second chapter. I hope you enjoy it!**

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"I'll pick you up at 8, okay?"

"Okay, Mom."

I kissed my mom goodbye then opened the door to our car and slammed it shut. I immediately felt the cold rush of air run past me. It's fall though so it's bound to be a little bit colder these days. I walked towards their porch, fallen leaves from trees crunching as I stepped on them, and watched how our car was beginning to grow smaller as my mom drove away.

The Ackerman's home was quaint; it looked like one of those perfect little houses that you would find in some home catalog. Their home always had that homey and comfortable atmosphere in it.

I took a step closer to their home, surprised to hear a lot of commotion going inside. The Ackerman's were always a peaceful family and rarely do they fight.

Their muffled voices got louder as I stood before their wooden door.

 _"...can't ... to me!"_ It's Levi's voice.

 _"...for the best..."_ That was Dr. Ackerman.

 _"...No!"_ Levi's blatant voice was accompanied by a loud crash.

I held my breath as I hesitated of even going inside. It wasn't the best time to go in their home—even if I have an appointment with the Doc-but what am I going to do other than wait out here in the cold? Maybe I should wait their argument out, that way I could give them a little time to recover. So, I waited it out, slumping down against the wall next to their door. I cupped my hands and brought it near to my mouth, breathing out the warm air from my mouth. I closed my eyes and listened to the rustling of leaves. I could still hear them arguing but not as intense as the one before— _what on Earth could they be arguing?_

A moment after, the noises stopped and I hear shuffling near the door. The Ackerman's front door opened and a slight gasp followed. "…Eren, how long have you been here?"

It was Levi Ackerman.

I flashed him a weak smile. "Long enough to finish what you had been arguing."

"Then why didn't you get inside?" He reached down his hand, beckoning me to take it. "God, you could've just knocked at the door."

"But I didn't," I say as I took his hand, helping me stand up. _I didn't because you two were arguing._

"Fuck, Eren, you're freezing." He looked at my eyes pitifully. "C'mon, let's get you inside."

I nodded as he tugged my hand and led me in to their warm home. As soon as I got inside, my eyes widened at how much red was there on the floor. Fragments of their large, red vase scattered across their once pristine floor (that would explain that loud crash earlier). The fragments were like crystals on the floor. It was very _beautiful_ to look at so many pieces of red. It was surprising of how something so beautiful could be caused by a mere fight or an accident. I was so enthralled at the broken pieces of the vase that I almost didn't notice that this was very unlike Levi. I find it very hard to believe that he had done this. Levi resents mess—something that his dad said must've caused him to do this.

"I know. It's filthy, isn't it?"

I continue to stare at the red mess that Levi made. 'Mess' and 'Levi' don't go well together and the thought of it makes me feel somewhat uneasy. "Levi—"

"Hey, let's go to my room. Dad's in his office and I doubt that he would be in condition to do your little sessions. Let's just give the old man a little time to cool his head off," Levi spoke quietly, fingers gripping my hand tighter. I felt him tug on my arm as he waited for me to reply.

"…Okay." The red fragments on the floor made a crunching noise as we walked across the floor towards the flight of stairs. By the time we reached the foot of the stairs, Levi suddenly let go of my hand and turned his back to smile at me. "I… uh… I probably should've let go of your hand sooner." His cheeks were tinged with red as he said that. I doubt that it's from the cold and actually from embarrassment.

"Hey, it's no big deal," I smiled as I replied to him.

We slowly climbed up the flight of stairs and reached the top a moment after. The walls of their second floor were filled with paintings. Must be because Mrs. Ackerman liked to paint so much and hung her finished masterpieces on the walls of their house. Levi also liked to paint and painted just like his mother. It's a shame that I can't fully appreciate these paintings because of my condition. To me, there're just colorless pictures with intricate drawings.

Levi went ahead and got inside his room. His room was on located at the end of the hall of the second floor. "Eren, you coming in or what?" Levi poked his head out at the entrance to his room.

"Ah—yeah, I'm coming," I yelled back at him.

I carefully padded to his room and went inside. His room was also filled with paintings but this time it's his. Heh, talent does run in his family. His room was very clean. And when I say clean, I mean 'you-can-see-your-reflection-on-every-surface' clean. Of course, Levi takes pride in is cleaning skills. Which reminds me…

"Levi, about what happened earlier…"

"Mm?" He walked towards his bed and sat on the edge. "About what?"

 _It's none of my business._ "About your—ah—father. It's very unusual to see you two have a fight." I took a step closer to him. "…And when you broke that vase—that wasn't _you_ , Levi. I know you and I know that you are far from being driven by your emotions."

Levi shifted uncomfortably on his bed as I sat beside him. "…I—I should've never brought that up. I'm sorry, Levi—"

"Eren, isn't your birthday in 3 days?" His voice slightly cracked as he quickly changed the subject. Guess I'll have to wait for him to answer my question.

"Yeah…," I said. "Mom's planning on throwing a party. Oh, and my Dad is coming home from Berlin!"

The atmosphere changed as I talked about my birthday. "That's great, Eren." He seemed to be happy.

We talked about school knowing that autumn break would end in a week and how Levi misses his high school friends because they're off to other places than being stuck in Shiganshina. Levi is in high school so I assumed that he doesn't have a lot of friends considering that almost everyone he looks at turns to stone. It turns out that I was wrong and in fact he has a whole circle of friends. Fate really works in mysterious ways. Still, it gives me a warm feeling that he's hanging out with someone who is 2 years younger than him and has a rare condition. When he finished talking, I told him that I also missed my friends and I was sad because they wouldn't be here for my party. He looked at me and grinned, saying that he'll be there for my party.

At the far right corner, I noticed an easel covered in a cloth.

"Hey, Levi, what's that?" I got off the bed and got closer to the covered easel.

"Don't touch that!" He hissed and suddenly stood up, grasping my shoulder to prevent me from touching it. He scared me for a second there. "Just… don't."

I stared at his eyes, searching for something unusual. _Something is going on._ "Okay…" I let it slide.

He lets his hand go and said, "…I'm sorry, Eren. God, I'm just not myself today."

I shook my head. "It's okay. I'll try to be less nosy next time." It's never _'next time.'_

The atmosphere was heavy again and the silence was broken when Levi asked,

"Is your condition getting any better?" Levi asked out of the blue.

I sadly shook my head and said, "I'm afraid not. Dr. Ackerman—your dad—is doing his best to lessen the effects of it." My hands were shaking. " _Caecum Colorum_ sucks you know—not being able to see color but red for the rest of your life and to top it off, having the possibility of being mentally unstable. I don't want that!"

He wrapped his arms around me as my body started to shake. "Eren, I swear that I am going to help you."

"I'm scared, Levi." _I_ _didn't ask for this._ What did I do to deserve this? I don't want to let go of his embrace. He's so warm and secure.

"Don't be."

Our embrace was broken off by two loud knocks on the door that was then followed by a modulated voice that said,

"Levi, I'm getting Eren." Levi and I both looked at each other and sighed simultaneously. It was only Dr. Ackerman.

"He's all yours!" Levi yelled back at him and muttered to me, "Good luck."

I walked to the door and grasped the handle. I looked back at Levi and saw him give me a thumbs up. I took a deep breath and opened the door. There I saw Dr. Ackerman in a shirt and tie looking down at me and gently smiling.

"There you are, Eren! Come, we have much to do."

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 **Thanks for reading!**


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